I Miss You

Words can never express my feelings for you and how much I've missed you. I thought about you each and every day, hoping for miracle to appear yet it seems so far. How long will this feeling last? A week? A month? Every time when i think of you my heart aches. It always makes me happy whenever i receive your msg yet i always have to look back into reality. sigh...

我不會愛 擁抱總是太沈太慢
甜蜜常常少說一段 用心再深 看不出來
當你遇見一份除了我之外的溫暖
兩人的幸福成了三人擁擠不堪
我試著填滿 心卻一再少一塊
就算我對你的愛 深的像一片海 重的我放不開
親愛的 我想我不會愛

我該繼續愛妳嗎？

express

Current Emotion: a mix negative aura of sad, disappointment, lack of confidence, missing and dark – surrounding me. And yes, I am missing her awfully quite a lot.

The song below is how I'm feeling right at this moment.

Will History Repeat Itself Again?

Few weeks ago I spotted this really sweet looking cute girl on my buddy's gf's photo album, had a lil' interested in her after seeing her picture. So I told my buddy to tell his gf to intro her to me + find out for me whether does that cutie has a bf. To my disappointment, that cutie already had a bf. After me buddy's gf knew I'm had a lil' interest on her friend, she decided to intro her to me during her birthday.

On that day itself, I get to know her yet it's one of the worst / happiest day ever. Worse = my buddy's gf pulled me over and asked me to dance with her and I sucked at it. I kept telling to the both of them that i don't know how to dance + I was so darn shy.

Few days later my buddy called me and ask me to join them for a karaoke session, in which I declined cause I had something on and I can't make it. Out of my surprise, my buddy told me that the cutie was expecting me to join them. I was like "are you shitting me?" A moment of doubtfulness went around my head for like a couple of hours. Finally I'm able to digest it and I decide to join them for the next karaoke session.

On that day itself me buddy and his gf decided to make us sit together and sang together in some love song. That was really and awkward yet funny day as the cutie was expecting me to talk to her. LOL. Well, I did talk to her and it was more like a Q&A session as we're still not familiar with each other.

As day goes by, my feelings for her grew for and she does have a lil' feeling for me as well. Yet I feel that it's not the right way as she had a bf. I kept telling to myself why do I always encounter such situation? I was reminded with the last girl in which my current scenario is exactly the same as during that time. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself again and it's definitely a matter of time. So, it's not fun having such feeling hanging in mid air.

I wonder...

Prove Em' Wrong

I always felt I'm left behind and people looking down at me, thinking that I suck and couldn't perform. Well guess what bitches, you gotta eat back your fucking shit words and watch closely as I'm gonna prove to you I'm way fucking better than you. Proving you wrong is one thing, but proving to myself that I can do it is my main priority.

the Dream

Had a few random dream last night. 1st was pretty cool, the 2nd one is the one which I'm gonna talk about and the 3rd one is just total weird.

About the 2nd dream, I dreamt of her, like really random. I have no idea why i would dream of her in such a random night. In the dream, I dreamt of her asking me can the both of us have another chance and even get married after a few years of relationship. When she asked me that, I had a second thought about it. I can't believe myself doubting this relationship! Actually in reality, I was the one who asked her this question. But in this dream it's the opposite. Weird. Anyways, few mths back, I was dying to get her back into my life. Trying to fix thing back to its original state - cook for her, buy her flowers, play the guitar and sang to her, treat her like a princess and all those lovey dovey shits. You know what I mean. But right now it's just the total opposite! I can't believe it. WOW!

this song totally represents my feelings at that time:


Come to my senses I actually realized that I've already let it go? I don't feel my heart hurting as much as last time anymore. The pain has gone. No doubt sometimes I would recall back those good o'memories but nah... it's past dude. So I can say that I've completely put it aside, lock it in my memory box and never take it out ever again. I guess the part where I have a second thought about it tells me that in reality I've already put it down and walk off - in which it's a good thing and I'm happy about it. =) wee....

So yea, i guess it'd be hard for me to fall in love again until I really found "the one"... the one that really captures my heart when i see her. That probably would be in another few years time? Few months later? Who knows? Right now all I can say is I would rather focus on building my financial base first then only I'll talk about love. I'll just let it come naturally. We'll see =)

my pet sis once said: "lil' bro, don't force yourself to go out and find love, the more you force yourself to find love, the harder love will come to you. Let it come naturally, love will come to you." I find it true because I remember when i was out looking for love, it was so hard for me to get a girl, either she rejects me or i totally don't have that special feeling at all. So i let it come naturally and yea, I let it come naturally and eventually i found her but things started to get ugly through out the days. So yea, better let it come naturally. =)

So yeap. I've learn my mistake. I'm happy that I've let go the past and had moved on. I'm happy with my life right now, met a lot of great peeps back home and will continue to build my dreams. Am happy. Happy happy happy! =)

song to represent my current feeling =):

the Past is the Past

Clinging on to your past will only bring you sorrow and negative emotions. What had pass is the past. Look forward to a brighter future and you'll live happier. If it's meant to be yours it'll be yours, if it's not, let it go and find a better one. You're an idiot if you still cling on to the past.

Good thing I've move on =)

Experience Design

2 kids hack into an apartment's electrical system and turn it into an arcade console.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L7DTMKekoU

the good o' days

Someone just tag a few of my primary classmate in a class photo. She never tag me as i'm not close to her and in fact i dont remember talking to her in my class. So, yea. Anyways, i cant stop laughin at my old pic. oh my gosh. the roundness of me.

15yrs ago this is how i look like. Try n spot me =) (1994)

5 years ago this is how i look like. I weigh 68kg if im not mistaken. (2004)
and this pic is taken last year, 2nd week of december, i was 70-72kg i guess. I took this pic after getting my haircut in Chinatown, Chicago. Geez... now my hair's long. Dammit >.<" (2008)

Notorious The Movie

Skys The Limit (Featuring 112) - The Notorious B.I.G.

"NO DREAM IS TOO BIG. THE SKY IS THE LIMIT."

Basically this is a good movie and i do recommend you guys to go and watch it! I'll defintely get this DVD when it's out. The story tells the life of Christopher Wallace a.k.a. the Notorious B.I.G., and how he became famous with his talent in rapping. Unfortunately this movie isn't released in Malaysia. So either you download it or you stream it online.

For the story's synopsis, copy and paste on the link below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Notorious_(2009_film)

XFM logo design

X-Fresh FM held a logo competition and who ever wons the logo design competition stand a chance to grab away with RM2500! woah... i could use some cash now. Below is the logo i redesign for them. By the way, according to Shaz, he said X-Fresh is no longer called X-Fresh, instead it's called Xfm. So, yea. Unfortunately i didn't get into the semi-finals. Sigh... =(

Rationale:
The red&white arrow on the right symbolizes pure, strong, energetic and hyperactive energy. Where as the black arrow on the left symbolizes speed, cool, dark and mysterious energy. So, when these two arrows collide with each other face to face and merged together, a whole new life/generation full with pure and strong hyperactive energy is born; forming the shape of an "X". This "X" defines the new generation for the hype, cool, active, energetic and stylish teenagers and young adults.

NYC trip

My trip to New York is really fun, but it's tiring. XD. The sad thing is, i never get to visit the Statue of Liberty, aiks... wasted. no time. Sigh. But i did manage to visit some of the landmarks here in New York City. First, i've stayed in the New Yorker Hotel, which is a few blocks away from Times Square =).

The places i went was of coz Time Square NYC, the Chinatown NYC, Central Park (10% of it), Museum of Natural History, MoMA (enter the regristration area as the museum is close -_-"), Chrysler Building, Empire State Building, 5th & 7th Avenue, the 24/7 365 Mac Store, Grand Central Terminal, Ground Zero, Guggenheim Museum (also the regrsitration area), Hardrock Cafe NY, M&M's World, KAWS gallery, Rockefeller Center, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Toys "R" Us, United Nations (which is not a part of the US country, it's their own land, own country), Radio Cityhall, Brookyln Bridge, Wall St.. Basically that's about it tho.

I must say, NYC is really a shopping paradise for shopaholics =P. Most of the famous designer brands like LV, CK, A|X, etc are available there. Oh oh... did i tell you that the stuffs in MUJI were really awesome? How i wish i could buy their stuffs and decorate them in my room but unfortunately, i don't have such pretty room to decorate such stuffs. I must say that their stuffs are really simple and nice! basically, MUJI designs are based in "Emptiness" or "Simplicity".

Anyways, belows are the pics i took... enjoy

this huge star wars toy in Toys "R" Us. Almost my height -_-" 6'
Times Square NYC
the candles in St. Patrick's Cathedral
St. Patrick's Cathedral has really interesting gothic architecture style. It's really amazing. look at those amazing lightings =) i really like it alot.














the new yorker hotel

the awaiting lady by the Museum of Natural History
some cute Grizzly bear
don't ask me what it is as i myself don't know what it is too. =p

the bones of a triceratops

i love this pic alot~! =P


outside of MoMA
Michelin x KAWS
spongebob x KAWS

Pinnochio's Dead, found him drown inside og Guggenheim Museum


ground zero
btw, after snapping this pic, some security guard by this site halted me. i don't know why the hell he halted me by saying that i can't simply take pictures of the building. he even said am i a proffesional photographer. he even ask me to show him the pictures i took. WHAT THE FUCK man? He really pisses me off. FUCKING ASSHOLE!

awaiting... i like this mood of this pic. it's kinda lonely tho? btw, it's inside of Grand Central Terminal.



The Empire Stat Building
The Chrysler Building
Central Park





Brookyn Bridge

the 24/7 365 Apple Store in 5th Avenue. The store that never close.




This is the fucking place which made me slip after i snap this pic. The floor is filled with slippery ice. cis! i hate winter!
You see.. heavy snow storm i Chicago. Which cause me stranded in the LaGuardia Airport NYC for 13 hours due to mother nature =(
some tree near my college while waiting for the bus to ChicagoThis is where all the meetings were held during any UN conference. cool rite?
i damn wanted this man! it's actually an actual Ak-47. The artist decides to turn it into a music instrument, which is a guitar. Awesome eh? Geez... weapons of mass destruction which can be turn into love for music. =)